DoS PoemS FRoM Enrique's Motor Lodge Room #22

Sample Poems from EMLR#22

pre-socratic

how you tame a lion is with a chair
and whip, but with a man it's best to grab
a bible and beat him over the head
with it singing god and country
and man oh my... praise be to america's wet-nurses
vibratingbedsalesmen mudbug-
harvesters undertakers failed honkytonk
coverbands anyone who's anyone
whose half-a-mind believes
in the voice of a mob
and the pursuit of life liberty and
that which is wholly
purchasable with a preferred line of credit
at jose's flower boutique & whackshack
back behind that truckstop
off yeehaw junction where the nuns all disguise
themselves as french-
tickler dispensers
and the feeling one gets
having been raised irish-catholic
when your final thought
always involves a line of priests
jockeying for hand-me-downs
outside the xxx goat-foot-emporium and how
did you say
philosophy was
born?

by M.P. Powers




Little Bo Peep Show

He doesn't really fuck sheep.
I'm relieved to know.
I try to protect my woolly friends
from horny bullies bored
with cows and goats.

I don't know why I show and tell
so goddamn freely.
What am I trying to prove
with my lovesick sex starved diatribes
and hot-n-bothered Madonna wannabe
photographs reeking of low self-esteem?

I've lost my goddess self and don't
know where to find her.
I'm thick with not knowing these days.
I do know how to find my clitoris in a snowstorm.
I do know flow, flow like the Brazos.
This will get me over the next hill
but won't protect me
from what
I find there.

by Misti Rainwater-Lites

Joint Praise From Duke & Duchess

It's quite lovely, actually. Yes. Quite. The poems are much like dusty old bluesy sort of records. They make you ponder humanity and the like. The stories cause the odd chuckle. Unexpected jollies are always nice. As for the photographs, they are quite phenomenal, really. Never seen anything like them. Prince Harry gave us the full-color version of Enrique's Motor Lodge Room #22 as a wedding gift. Needless to say, Big Mum was not amused. But we were. And at the end of the day, that is what counts.

Testimonials

~ "Dude, it's like a rad book. Like, just buy the thing, bro....
hahaha. See what I mean? hahhah. Dude?" Justin Zachary
Taylor, 20.
~ "Dern tootin it's a good book. Read it to all my boys down
at the Go-Fast Car Club on Main Street." Gary Borker, 68,
golf ball diver/crouton manufacturer, Ice Patch, ND.
~ "I don't know about the words inside. I just like rubbing
the dust cover all over my big hairy pussy." Charlotte
Eclair, 25, failed snuff queen.
~ "Fuck you where it counts! You tink I read dat shit?
Ya right... readin's fer faigs..." Vinnie Stromboli,
38, pizza pie technician, Pompano Beach, Fl.
~ "Hell, it was good. Like a warm shot of bourbon on a cold
Chicago night. Like watchin da bears. I tellce ya, indulge
yerself in a coupla uh polish sausages, a fat portion uh
sauerkraut thick cut fries and a bucket o' beans. Then hobble
off ta da john and blow ass. Best crappin book dere ever
wuz." Artie Poplawski, 32, Oswego, Il.
~ "Enrique's Motor Lodge was brilliant!
Superb! Some might even say marvelous!" ~ Billy Hopkins,
9, paper boy, Seattle, Wa.

This Book Will Be GONE Soon

Enrique's Motor Lodge Room #22 will sell out soon so you better hurry your ass up and buy it. Okay, that's a big fat lie. As you know, lulu.com is a print on demand publisher. Still. You should buy the book. You will buy the book. You will buy both versions of the book. You will give the book a glowing review. You will buy several additional copies of both versions of the book for friends, fuck buddies and family members. You know that hot auto mechanic/nail tech you've had your eye on for a while now? Buy the full-color version of Enrique's Motor Lodge Room #22 for your crush and YOU WILL GET LAID. Guaranteed.

Hearty Gumbo For The Truck Driver's Soul

Ésa es sí la verdad. Enrique's Motor Lodge Room #22 is indeed a piping hot hearty bowl of gumbo for the truck driver's soul. You do not believe me. I can see you wiggle waggling your eyebrows, deep in doubt. You will believe and you will buy. You will know that Enrique's Motor Lodge Room #22 is not a cold styrofoam cup of shrimp flavored Ramen for the undeclared major's soul. I am talking GUMBO here, goddamn it! SEAFOOD GUMBO with a thick brown roux! Maybe you've never had a bowl of gumbo. Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about. This is gumbo.

M. P. Powers writes like this. He also writes like this.

Misti Rainwater-Lites writes like this and this. Her photographs look like this and this.

Satisfied? No. You will not be satisfied until you have the book, the hearty bowl of gumbo, in your hands.

"You got a problem wit it?"

"Yeah that's right. I got the book. Jerked myself silly last night. Then today I threw a rubber on and went nuts. Fucked myself doggie-style. Huh? You got a problem wit it?"